Ha! Funny Spam – and I love my MacBook Cam

August 21, 2007 at 7:26 pm | Posted in Spam | 1 Comment
Tags: , ,

Here is my favourite spam mail subject line of the day:

From: Bauer [Ott_aexuuyc@vsnl.net.in]
Sent: Wed 22.08.2007 09:36
Subject: [PMX:SPAM] Kinder spielen zu viel? Hier ein portables TV mit DVB-T, dann ist Ruhe

Translation:

From: Bauer [Ott_aexuuyc@vsnl.net.in]
Sent: Wed 22.08.2007 09:36
Subject: [PMX:SPAM] Children play to much? Here a portable TV with DVB receiver and then they’ll shut up

Also, I love the camera in my MacBook and all its silly effects.

MyPicture

A little post in the middle of everything

June 10, 2007 at 8:49 am | Posted in Blogging, Feminism, Literature, Spam | Leave a comment

So they’ve got internet here in Berlin! 20 minutes in the hotel cost 1 Euro, but I couldn’t resist. The opening event yesterday was both interesting, kind of what I expected and kind of bette than what I feared. Marlene Streeruwitz gave a smart opening lecture, whilst at the same time sounding quite frustrated – not a surprise to see that happend to some feminists. The text that won the first prize… would have never received my first prize, a gothic tale about a man with one normal abled arm and a hook on the other one (question of realism – that is just not done anymore, certainly not in German speaking countries) who jerks off sitting by the pool, watching his daughter and a girl-friend coming to visit…. complete with tiny ‘continuity errors’ such as “he folded his hands above his stomach” – how is he supposed to do that if one hand is an iron hook?

Other than that, the quality of my spam is going up:

Hello all

I’m Shweinz, great resourse, and anaj.wordpress.com is a pretty looking domain name 🙂
hope to find interesting people here! Also I find that category “this” is very useful )))
A little bit about me – I like swimming, playing secrets to playing slots , volleybal, basketball, grandonline casino and of course computer gaming and playing poker dice

Good buy all!

[SPAM] Someone wants to make a family with me:-)

May 4, 2007 at 10:21 am | Posted in Funny, Spam | 2 Comments

[Quote] Hello, my friend

I am writing to you with the suggestion: let’s create family! Don’t wonder, I know that it sounds strange and even may scare you, but nevertheless….I dream about family, children and life in harmony and love. What about your dreams?
If you have the same, write me here http://… and I will reply you with pleasure. I am not an ideal woman, I am ordinary, but I know that for one man I will be special and the best one. And I want this man to be You! What may be better family life when you have loving and caring relations? But I am not able to create it alone, I need partner, life partner. If you’re not scared and want to have family too, I will wait for your letter.

Waiting for your response
O.T.[UNQUOTE]

What to do if you’re blacklisted?

April 17, 2007 at 5:04 pm | Posted in Blogging, Spam | 3 Comments
Tags: , , , ,

It seems as if my blog is now rated as ‘spam’, because anywhere I comment my comments go immediately into the moderation queue. And while I don’t consider this an outwardly political intervention, I am beginning to wonder whether this might have to do with my “End Guantanamo” banner – at least temporally, there seems to be a connection:

StatsApril.jpg

Traffic had leveled off at about 200 a day (the left most value was an aberration), and now it’s gone back to an average of 60, which I had in my very first month of blogging – in spite of taking to the heart some of Lenina’s advice on increasing blog traffic (actually, only the last one, the one that I care for the most: post regularly).

I mailed the WP team about being blacklisted, and they referred my to akismet.com/contact, but they never responded nor did anything about it. So do you think that it’s possible that there is a connection to the Guantanamo banner? There’s just a handful of blogs where I post regularly, and even on Jetsam’s blog I suddenly found myself blacklisted (it’s o.k. to comment on a blog once one of your comments has been approved).

That’d be really sad for the blogosphere if it responded that sensitively to political intervention of the most modest kind:-(

Yesterday also proved that the opposite of one of Lenina’s pieces of advice may work: She recommended to refer to current news stories – the slow food approach would be to write pieces of eccentric interest and wait for the stray reader to come.

And yay! Yesterday somebody found his or her way to my blog using the following search term:

butterschiff means

And here’s the answer to that question;-)

Friendly Comment Spammers 29/40

March 21, 2007 at 7:32 am | Posted in Spam | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , ,

Comment spam is a nuisance, but not an unsolvable problem if you’re on WordPress. Akismet catches most of the spam (after having given it some time to learn) and you only have to check every once and again whether it’s really all spam in the queue. Most spam turns out to be as nonsensical as this one (this, however, being an example of email spam):

Cial1is Soft Ta1bs as low as $5.78
Via11gra Professional as low as $3.86
Gener1c Via11gra as low as $3.5
Human Gro1wth Hor1mone as low as $43.37
Meri1dla as low as $3.29
Tra1madol as low as $2.17
Levit1ra as low as $11.97

See our site!

US pha1rmacy for Americans!
Buy high-quality ED pills now and get them instantly at USDrug store.

With best regards
National Pha1rmacist Association

I can hardly imagine that anyone would buy Viagra from a website that presents itself in such a dyslexic fashion. The next one comes from almost the same category. Note the difference, however: They have built in something similar to the spam protection tricks on many websites. While you’d normally have to replace the [at] with @, they are asking you to replace the dash with a dot. I also enjoy the bit about Mr. Perkins and Mr. Crouch (why not ‘crotch’?)

Hi,

VIArrGRA $3. 35
VALrrIUM $1. 25
CIArrLIS $3. 75
XArrNAX
SOrrMA

FOR LESS!

http://www.kedrx-com

Replace “-” with “.” in the above link to make it working.

Its classified information, until such time as the Ministry decides to release it, said Percy stiffly. Mr. Crouch was quite right not to disclose it.

A cute translation trivia on the side: There is an old-fashioned German word for @ that was used by some in the early days of the internet, but has now fallen into oblivion: “der Klammeraffe”, meaning the clipping or clinging monkey:-)

Here is the friendliest comment spam so far. I almost de-spammed it, that’s how effective it was:

Comment Spam

Ooooooooooh! I just realized I forgot to capture the last line of this spam comment in my screen shot where it read I just wanted to write SOMEthing… and I thought that was kinda neat from a spammer. But I’ve already trashed it now.

P.S. So that was another trivia post. I must excuse myself for not coming up with anything more substantial at the moment. There are actual plenty of things on my mind, but I just don’t get around to writing them down. I also need to answer a couple of comments still (Baudrillard in particular, and read about Capitalism 3.0 and learn about the different epochs of American Naturalism). Hope to get around to this tonight.

Designed Spam, Pattern 3: Pink

December 12, 2006 at 1:00 pm | Posted in Spam | 1 Comment

There is no end to these confetti spams yet. They even picked my favourite colour today: Pink!

Subject: But then again I guess I’m just Psycho!

Spam

Mumps! Diseased spam!

December 10, 2006 at 3:30 pm | Posted in Spam | Leave a comment

To support my recently acquired artsy spam habit, the gods of spam took pity on me and send me another version of the “We think this stock is hot” spam, yet with a new color scheme this time. Wow, they have their own CI and variations of it!

The subject line – mumps – is more dada than ever (and I was 100% convinced that mumps was a German word, because of the consonant cluster at the end: Mumps, Plumps, Kanzler…. it’s proper English!

Spam

Previous Glorious Spam

Glorious spam

December 8, 2006 at 8:19 pm | Posted in Art, Funny Stuff, Spam | 3 Comments

While streamlining an article that is due today (statistically speaking I have written one article for each decade that I’ve lived: three so far), I’m trying not to avert my attention from the screen, but unfortunately the screen has got several screens in itself that bear potential for distraction, and the computer’s connected to the internet. As a result, diversion and procastination is becoming rife.

Even the spam that keeps coming in distracts me.

I’ve often marvelled at the excentric artistic quality of some spam. If this one, for instance, had been created by an artist, it would probably have been praised for its attempt to capture the aesthetics of 256-bit graphics.

Furthermore, it breaks all the rules of succesful email marketing: unpersonalized, untargetted content, no context, opaque subject line (bamboo stress), and it does not even contain a link!

Spam

And right below the image it features a text that appears to be completely unconnected:

The plastic light apertures are thermally-moulded acrylic and high-output LEDs are now replacing the traditional neon lamps.
Look for a vendor who can accommodate the changes you face as they affect you. Q: What types of organisations could benefit from using bonded warehouses?
We now offer a range of Windows and Windows CE terminals that offer browser-based functionality.
Q: So what are the strategic implications for a manufacturer like Belgravium? MDL were using the warehouse management functionality from the existing ERP system, over time this had been customised to meet the growing demands of the MDL business. Via RFID initiatives, managers will be able to monitor and review store performance and tackle problem areas.
Built into ACmanager is the capability to handle the requirements of all trading partners at all tier levels. The Projects module is much more flexible than a standard sales module. CUSTOMER SERVICE ACCOLADETesco is a particularly demanding customer, and this has been a driving force for the introduction of the Infor COM ERP system.
“A company seeking to contain the cost of technology initiatives while increasing the effectiveness of its supply chain will find that DS Collaborate delivers tremendous business value.
“We can now take better care of our customers and meet their service level requirements, as well as create a manufacturing plan and adapt to fluctuations in demand quickly.
This has been particularly useful for the Tesco projects.
How long does the battery last?
Via RFID initiatives, managers will be able to monitor and review store performance and tackle problem areas.
Preactor has a “what if” capability, so you can test the alternative strategies for dealing with, say, a breakdown, and then pick the one that meets your objectives.
We were also able to recognise and thank our partners’ commitment with special awards for a remarkable year of growth for voice in Europe,” added Greg Tanner. How have they built their reputation?
“We were looking for a logistics partner who is in a position to improve the efficiency of our production facility,” according to Fred Holvast, Manager for Distribution and Customer Service. Look for products that are designed from the very beginning for warehouse and industrial use. The combined company has the scale and resources to continue to support our extensive customer base while investing in enhancements and long-term product innovation.

God bless the spam artists

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